Tuesday, August 24, 2004

STARSHIP CAPTAINS FOR TRUTH ATTACK JON LUC PICARD

Former Enterprise Captain Jon Luc Picard has come under harsh attacks in his campaign for President of the Federation Council from a group calling itself Starship Captains for Truth. This group charges that Picard's claims for defeating the Borg following the battle at Wolf 359 have been exaggerated. They note that Picard had been assimilated by the Borg prior to the battle and could not have led the defenses, and also blame Picard for not acting soon enough to prevent the heavy casualties suffered at Wolf 359. Starship Captains for Truth also questioned the veracity of Picard's accounts of entering the Romulan neutral zone.

Picard's actions on the Enterprise have been defended by crewmen aboard the Enterprise, as well as by Star Fleet documentation and articles on numerous Star Trek fan sites. Investigations into Starship Captains for Truth reveal that several of them are actually Changlings from the Dominion impersonating starship captains. The group has also been found to be financed by a shadowy group receiving funding from the Romulan Star Empire.

In commenting on charges raised by former Captain James T. Kirk, Picard responded by saying, "Kirk died years ago. Is Shatner's ego so huge that Kirk continues to speak even after his death?

6 Comments:

Blogger Pamela Leavey said...

Oh my, laughing too hard!

It's good to see some levity in midst of this foolish tirade of lies and smears!

11:09 AM  
Blogger Ron Chusid said...

If you liked the above, here's a couple of items I posted to some Star Trek boards after the 2000 election:


*****Breaking News*****

In what could be the final blow to Vice President Al Gore's Presidential
campaign, the Federation Council has refused his appeal to overturn the
adverse ruling against him by the United States Supreme Court issued on
December 12, 2000. An unsigned majority ruling agreed that this would be a
violation of the Temporal Prime Directive.

In a concurring statement, Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan refused Al Gore's
request to perform Vulcan mind melds to definitively determine the will of
the votes. While conceding that a majority of Florida voters may have
intended to vote for Mr. Gore on election day, Ambassador Sarek declared
that "Logic would dictate that voters who preferred Al Gore should have
punched the chad by Al Gore's name, not Pat Buchanan's name."

The majority statement did not refute Mr. Gore's assertion that Texas
Governor George Bush's future Supreme Court appointees would result in
further racial and cultural divide, culminating in the Bell Riots of 2024,
but did find that the these events were part of the time line which
ultimately resulted in the formation of the United Federation of Planets.
For reasons which were not explained, Captain Benjamin Sisko of Deep Space
Nine recused himself when discussion of Gabriel Bell was raised.

In a dissenting view, several members saw no justification in refusing Mr.
Gore's request to travel to the Guardian of Forever to determine if there
was any validity to his accusations that a Bush Presidency would cause an
alternative time line with the alternative Empire encountered by Captain
James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise.

A review of the time line also suggested that Mr. Gore and Mr. Bush were
actually from an alternative time line than the one in which Star Fleet is a
reality. While history of that era was sketchy, records seems to indicate
that the President circa 2000 was actually named Jed Bartlett.

Reaction to the Federation Council's decision was mixed. The Ambassador from
the Bizarro Planet was puzzled as to what the controversy was all about,
stating that, "On my Planet, the candidate who comes in second is always
declared the winner."

Mr. Gore had no immediate response to this latest setback. After rumors that
some aides were suggesting a further appeal of this decision to a higher
authority, the Q Continuum offered to hear the case. "This is my kind of
election," declared Q.

11:55 AM  
Blogger Ron Chusid said...

*****Breaking News*****

Vice President Al Gore has expressed dissatisfaction with the ruling of the
Federation Council not to override the adverse ruling of the United States
Supreme Court which resulted in the election of George Bush as President of
the United States. "I strongly disagree with this decision,but I must accept
it. Decisions of the Federation Council are canon." declared Gore.

Some observers believe that Mr. Gore lost support on the Federation Council
following his claims to have invented subspace communication and the Warp
Drive. Zefram Cochrane was particularly upset by Mr. Gore's claims.

Vice President's Gore's concession speech was well accepted by contemporary
American's. Fifty-six percent of the voters were found to have a better
opinion of Mr. Gore after hearing this speech, but forty-four percent were
outraged that he preempted the week's episode of West Wing. President Jed
Barttlet was unavailable for comment.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Pamela Leavey said...

Star date 2004

Back to reality...

10:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Outstandingly funny! I guess fact can be twisted any way the teller wishes.

12:56 PM  
Blogger Ron Chusid said...

Yes, the Swift Boat Liars have tried to twist the facts many different ways.

Fortunatley the truth has come out as the attacks have been refuted by several eye witnesses, the military record, as well as previous statements from Kerry's attackers.

1:53 PM  

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