HOW TO BE A BORROW-AND-SPEND REPUBLICAN
(THESE RULES ARE HUMOR...NOT TO BE USED BY ANY DEMOCRATS FOR POLITICAL GAIN; Goodness knows they're being used too much by cheap-labor Republicans already!)
1. Always favor the Greedy Rich. Ignore the Responsible Succeeders, like Kerry and Kerry-Heinz, the Kennedys, Ted Turner and George Soros...they care about the little people too much. Whatever you do, make sure you favor the Greedy Rich...they are your biggest campaign financers (bribers).
2. Politics is a game: play to win at all costs. No matter who you have to lie to or steal from (except the Greedy Rich...always follow Rule 1).
3. Pretend to be the Freedom Party. By claiming to be anti-government, anti-tax, you can deceive the middle class and the poor into thinking that you're actually lowering their tax burden! All this while you give more of their money away in fat government contracts and corporate subsidies!
4. As you steal more from the poor and the middle class, they won't have as much money and so you won't be able to get as much from them. Borrow the difference!
5. Whatever you do, DON'T ever point out that deficit spending is a HIDDEN TAX that leads to higher unemployment, higher interest rates, and higher inflation for the middle class. Hey, you don't get bribes by being honest with EVERYONE, do you?
6. Don't worry about bankrupting the country. If the country falls apart, the greedy rich can always move to Switzerland or Grand Cayman. Heck, most of their wealth is hidden there already!
7. Try to get as many of the moralist groups on your side as you can. Don't do this by practicing true morality (like giving up lying or stealing...that would cause you to lose your bribes!) Instead, get their support by prohibiting the right of people to own their bodies or to have privacy in what they do in their own bedrooms.
(THESE RULES ARE HUMOR...NOT TO BE USED BY ANY DEMOCRATS FOR POLITICAL GAIN; Goodness knows they're being used too much by cheap-labor Republicans already!)
1. Always favor the Greedy Rich. Ignore the Responsible Succeeders, like Kerry and Kerry-Heinz, the Kennedys, Ted Turner and George Soros...they care about the little people too much. Whatever you do, make sure you favor the Greedy Rich...they are your biggest campaign financers (bribers).
2. Politics is a game: play to win at all costs. No matter who you have to lie to or steal from (except the Greedy Rich...always follow Rule 1).
3. Pretend to be the Freedom Party. By claiming to be anti-government, anti-tax, you can deceive the middle class and the poor into thinking that you're actually lowering their tax burden! All this while you give more of their money away in fat government contracts and corporate subsidies!
4. As you steal more from the poor and the middle class, they won't have as much money and so you won't be able to get as much from them. Borrow the difference!
5. Whatever you do, DON'T ever point out that deficit spending is a HIDDEN TAX that leads to higher unemployment, higher interest rates, and higher inflation for the middle class. Hey, you don't get bribes by being honest with EVERYONE, do you?
6. Don't worry about bankrupting the country. If the country falls apart, the greedy rich can always move to Switzerland or Grand Cayman. Heck, most of their wealth is hidden there already!
7. Try to get as many of the moralist groups on your side as you can. Don't do this by practicing true morality (like giving up lying or stealing...that would cause you to lose your bribes!) Instead, get their support by prohibiting the right of people to own their bodies or to have privacy in what they do in their own bedrooms.
posted by Anonymous at 6:39 PM
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